Discover how the warmth of a workplace friendship can become the cornerstone of professional growth and leadership. My conversation with my esteemed friend Carlos Fernandez uncovers the often underappreciated value of forging genuine connections in our careers. This episode is a heartfelt reminiscence of the lessons we've absorbed from our mentor, Sherry, whose unconventional approach to leadership fostered an environment of trust, collaboration, and gender-neutrality. As we look back on our time together at the university, we celebrate the comfort of being able to be our true selves and the security found in knowing we have each other's unwavering support. Carlos and I offer insights into the power of authentic, non-transactional relationships in shaping not only our own paths but also in impacting the lives of those we lead and mentor.
Venture with us as we reflect on the mentorship culture we embraced within a student community and the joy of seeing young minds discover their potential through our guidance. We discuss the evolution of these mentorship practices into our current roles, adapting to the diverse and modern landscape of education, business, and the non-profit world. You'll hear about the continued significance of having a 'work best friend'—someone who can provide candid feedback and listen to your story with empathy. Through our shared experiences, we hope to inspire you to weave these same values of deep connection and understanding into your own leadership and mentoring endeavors. Join Carlos and me for a journey that celebrates the profound impact we can have on each other's professional lives.
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Read the full blog post here!
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The Leadership Vision Podcast is a weekly show sharing our expertise in discovering, practicing, and implementing a Strengths-based approach to people, teams, and culture. Contact us to talk to us about helping your team understand the power of Strengths.
Discover how the warmth of a workplace friendship can become the cornerstone of professional growth and leadership. My conversation with my esteemed friend Carlos Fernandez uncovers the often underappreciated value of forging genuine connections in our careers. This episode is a heartfelt reminiscence of the lessons we've absorbed from our mentor, Sherry, whose unconventional approach to leadership fostered an environment of trust, collaboration, and gender-neutrality. As we look back on our time together at the university, we celebrate the comfort of being able to be our true selves and the security found in knowing we have each other's unwavering support. Carlos and I offer insights into the power of authentic, non-transactional relationships in shaping not only our own paths but also in impacting the lives of those we lead and mentor.
Venture with us as we reflect on the mentorship culture we embraced within a student community and the joy of seeing young minds discover their potential through our guidance. We discuss the evolution of these mentorship practices into our current roles, adapting to the diverse and modern landscape of education, business, and the non-profit world. You'll hear about the continued significance of having a 'work best friend'—someone who can provide candid feedback and listen to your story with empathy. Through our shared experiences, we hope to inspire you to weave these same values of deep connection and understanding into your own leadership and mentoring endeavors. Join Carlos and me for a journey that celebrates the profound impact we can have on each other's professional lives.
-
Read the full blog post here!
CONTACT US
ABOUT
The Leadership Vision Podcast is a weekly show sharing our expertise in discovering, practicing, and implementing a Strengths-based approach to people, teams, and culture. Contact us to talk to us about helping your team understand the power of Strengths.
Have you ever stumbled upon a friendship that felt more like a family, a connection so profound that it reshaped your perspective on work, life and leadership? In today's episode, we dive into the heart of such a relationship and the remarkable synergy it brought to the forefront of leadership and mentoring. You are listening to the Leadership Vision Podcast, our show helping you build positive team culture. Our consulting firm has been doing this work for the past 25 years so that people are mentally engaged and emotionally healthy. Hello everyone, my name is Nathan Freeberg and today on the podcast, dr Linda Shubering interviews her dear friend, carlos Fernandez. It's a story of connection, mentorship and the unexpected ways that we find family in our lives and careers.
Speaker 1:Linda and Carlos share a bond that transcends the typical definition of friendship.
Speaker 1:Meeting over two decades ago in a university, setting their paths crossed in a way that neither could have predicted, leading to a deep familial bond that has influenced their approach to leadership, mentorship and life itself. During this episode, we'll talk about the concept of finding a quote unquote best friend at work, the impact of a nurturing leadership style and the power of recognizing and fostering potential in others. Linda and Carlos' story is a testament to the transformative effect of meaningful connections and the role they play in our personal and professional growth. But before we dive in, think about this have you ever had a mentor who felt more like family, someone who maybe not only guided you professionally but also cared for you personally? Or perhaps you have been that someone to someone else? Keep this question in mind as you listen to Linda and Carlos' inspiring story and consider if there's anything here that you may need or want to implement in your own leadership setting. Now let's step into the world of profound connections and lessons they hold for leadership, vision and beyond. This is the Leadership Vision Podcast.
Speaker 2:Enjoy Today on the podcast, I want to introduce you to one of my dearest friends in the whole wide world, carlos Fernandez. Hi, carlos, hey, carlos and I met each other. Was it 23 years ago? 22 years ago, maybe Decades? Carlos and I met at a university and we spent a bunch of years working together and we were in some different departments and I've stayed close with his family. The Fernandez family is a really important family to Brian and me and he is here in town in Minneapolis. So I told Carlos why don't we talk about some of the ways that we work together and some of the magic that happened when we got to work together? You want to talk about that.
Speaker 3:I'd love to.
Speaker 2:Carlos and I are both only children and as only children, you kind of find family wherever you go. And our boss at the time her name was Sherry and Sherry was my California mom. Even though my mom is incredible, Sherry was the woman for me that looked after me. Something happened at one point where she stopped calling me Linda or her employee and started calling me daughter. What about you?
Speaker 3:That was the same for me, so I also she called you daughter, she called me daughter. Keep my name out tomorrow, no see, I became her adopted son, and I also am an only child and have a California mom in California. She is someone that during my undergraduate college years was just able to call out gift things in me noticed potential and, if I can use language, of calling in my life that I had not yet even recognized myself and help bring that into fruition. And its impact is still unfolding today. Yeah, it ripples.
Speaker 2:Sherry was a force, she was a powerful communicator, she was a charismatic leader and I think, carlos, when we when I was like wait a minute, she's calling you son, she's calling me daughter, I like we are really like brother and sister now and I.
Speaker 2:I think she's she spoke it into being. One of the things I appreciated about Sherry was that it was a non-issue to be a woman in leadership, and what she was always inviting us to and us meaning her team was to model what it looked like to to be in partnership with others and to not let gender Classify who does what and who's in charge of what. I feel like that was the expectation, so I'm glad that she made us siblings. That was nice. So, as I was thinking about Carlos being here and this opportunity that I just kind of invited him to be to be on the podcast, I'm thinking about the Gallup engagement measures where they start to talk about do you believe in the mission of the organization, the vision, do you have the tools that you need? And one of the, the measures that they often measure, or one of the items they often measure, is this one I have a best friend at work.
Speaker 2:Now, some people do not like that question. Oftentimes people from Gen X do not like that question Because why? You know, I I save my best friends for outside of work. But I think there's something to that question where you start to realize do I have someone at work that has my back, that's willing to do, do the hard things for me, or the ones that have a short, or like the people that have a short hand. And, carlos, like you're my best friend at work. Hmm, what do you remember from those days Two decades ago when we were working together? What stands out?
Speaker 3:what stands out well, first to understand that in the, in the capacity, that the dynamic of our, of our relationship, changed in the course of a few months, because when I first came to know you, I was an A student graduate in the community and first came to know you as as a leader and as a mentor, and then when I came on board, then as in capacity, as professional staff, that that dynamic change, even though our upbringings you could classify as being sort of polar opposites culture, wise, geographically there was so much that we felt we hadn't common, even just in terms of our, the way we view the world, mm-hmm, our connectedness, and I just immediately felt in you a safe presence where I could fully be Myself and I have to put any sort of facade or veneer or didn't feel any need to impress you, because you are again able to see things in qualities in me that I hadn't even yet fully discovered or stepped into myself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think we were in our 20s when are we.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, that's that's.
Speaker 2:That's a long time ago, anyway, and I think what stood out for me is Carlos, you have this, you have this quiet mystery about you and then, all of a sudden, people get to know you and they hear your voice, both your singing voice as well as your voice that speaks into other people's lives.
Speaker 2:I think there was, there was a lot of power to it, and I I liken you to a coach on a sports team, but more he was the coach of this whole university, where Students of all walks of life you name it from like I don't even know how you knew some of them, and I'm sure that people that are listening to the podcast right now because I'll share it and if it says Carlos's name, they will listen to it. So shout out to all of you if you've been invested in by Carlos, you probably have been seen, you have been understood. You like literally, he will put microphones in your hand, and there were just so many opportunities where you gave people similar to what Sherry did for us. You give people this opportunity to shine and to explore the greatness of who they are. Do you have standouts that come to mind from that era, like people that stand out to you.
Speaker 3:I think of so many and I even come across one of them on this trip that I just had a chance to have a very long, slow, beautiful dinner with last night that even still talk about the impact of those years in that community and, having lived another 20 years of life right, so much has changed in society and culture and there still are those values that we cling to from that period.
Speaker 3:A lot of that you sort of mentioned a moment ago is even just the idea of presence and investment that isn't transactional in a sense where the motive, or even though we had a responsibility to these students, these leaders that we were mentoring, that we were walking with it, wasn't, at the end, based on how does this relationship benefit me or what boxes am I taking just in terms of what I'm responsible to you for, but that it was something that many times stepped out of even what the job description was or what the objectives were at hand in our department, but really was invested into that individual's whole life, their family dynamics, their struggles, their insecurities, their self-doubt, and just trying to unlock those things or unclog those barriers that were preventing them from fully thriving or coming into their full selves.
Speaker 2:Yeah, highlights from that time. For me, even as you're talking, one of the things that I wanted to bring in as the Dean of Students was to create a mentoring culture where we are sitting with students and we are investing in the lives of students, like you're saying, holistically. There were times where I would walk around campus or I would then walk over to the local Starbucks and I would see our colleagues just sitting one-on-one with students and for me, it made me so proud to think that some of those conversations, some of those slow conversations where you're like I don't know if this is going anywhere, I really think that some of those conversations were turning points where students were finally hearing for the first time something good about themselves or something that was of value. I think that those are the warm memories that I have.
Speaker 2:One of the things I was the most excited about is that I didn't have to say okay, this is how you start a conversation and then it will lead from the family into what you might want to talk about with this student. There was just a way that, Carlos, you have a way of just being with people that allows them to be invited to come forward a little bit and to step into their life, or to begin to wonder about the things that you said they're called to or the things that make them feel and be most alive. You even married a lot of people, performed a lot of ceremonies, right? How many do you keep track of all that?
Speaker 3:Oh gosh, I think over the years I mean maybe somewhere between 15 and 20 of those couples.
Speaker 2:Yeah, not crazy, they're still together.
Speaker 3:Most of them still. I haven't kept track of anything.
Speaker 2:None important 80%.
Speaker 2:So when I fast forward to today, I harken back to the moments that we had working together, carlos where I'm now doing the same thing only with my husband as well as what we're able to do in business culture and nonprofit culture and different schools and organizations, and the opportunity to kind of draw upon those practices and skills that I think at the time I was taking for granted. I didn't. I was like, well, I'm just let's just invest in these people's lives and kind of built a profession out of it. And I feel like when I think about my calling, it goes back to the things that were birthed in that time. How do you bring some of the things that we learned or practiced forward to today?
Speaker 3:Well, I mean it's. I feel like I've come full circle, because now I'm currently now again in a similar context, working with this demographic, again in higher ed. Now, what has somewhat expanded this time is that in the setting that I'm in now, I have the opportunity to work with a lot of international students that are still learning even just to acclimate to American culture, and American culture looks a little different in 2024.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And it did in 2001, 2003. And yet, a lot of those challenges are the same in terms of insecurities or self doubt or learning how to interpersonal relationships work challenges, team dynamics.
Speaker 2:It is so different and I feel like the closest I am to university students now is our post grad daughter.
Speaker 2:So you met, yeah, and you met our grand dog, so that was kind of fun. So I think, to encourage our listeners, I think what I'd want to say is it's okay to find someone at work where you feel a connection, a shorthand, and sometimes it's not on purpose, but sometimes you find when there's synergy, you can really create a space where you almost read someone else's mind and you step in and you realize you can do more together than you can apart. I think that's really important to me. I think the other thing is to really slow down and listen to people's lives. Let them tell you the story of who they are. For me, several years down the road, I feel like that is more important than ever, that I'm not telling I'm not the giver of wisdom that a lot of times the wisdom comes in just sitting and listening to someone unfold their life in front of you, or portions of their life or the things that they find interesting.
Speaker 3:As you keep mentioning this idea of a work best friend, which, even at terminology, is still newer to me. But I'm thinking of a dear colleague now that I guess I would regard in this context as my work best friend. But I think one of the things that I most value about her is sometimes I think folks put in a lot of capital on an idea of loyalty and loyalty is not, is something that actually feels a little more dangerous to me, because with this particular coworker, she is excellent about letting me know when I made a decision or I've sent an email or had some sort of communication that was coming from maybe a place of defensiveness or insecurity and more she'll say I don't know that that was you at your best and I know you to be better than that. What was that about? And then I'll notice it and I'll feel like, oh, so someone else may see that as confrontation or some sort of disloyalty, and I appreciate that because she's known me at my best, is able to call out when I'm not at my best.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And because I can regard her as a work best friend use this phrase is that she helps me be my best by calling out when I'm not, and so I just trust her fully with myself and I know even to be here this week on this trip, she's carrying some of that loader, some of that presence from me while I'm away and I can do the same for her and I'm just super grateful for a relationship like that.
Speaker 2:I wanna meet her. Oh, come visit, carlos. Thank you for sitting with me and agreeing to sit here, and I know you're usually singing when you're in front of a microphone. What I love about what you just said, though, about your colleague, is surround yourself with people that are calling out even better in you, and I think that's what our California mama did, our Italian mama, sherry. She called us to be better. She's like that was great, and then you could also do this, and when you create a culture of wanting to do more and not just to please her, but to raise the bar and raise the level of expectation of what is excellence and what is excellence on a team, what is excellence for the product that you are maybe delivering, as well as the relationships that you are forming? So any final words?
Speaker 3:He's got some pancakes.
Speaker 1:As we wrap up today's podcast with Linda and Carlos, I'm reminded of the incredible impact that genuine connections and mentorship can have on our careers and lives as a whole. Their story beautifully illustrates the power of finding family in unexpected places and the transformative effect of nurturing leadership and deep, meaningful relationships in the workplace. I'd like to invite you to reflect on your own experiences with mentorship and friendship, especially within our professional environments. It challenges us to consider who are the sherrys in our lives. How can we be a Carlos or a Linda to someone needing guidance, support or simply a listening ear? As we ponder these questions, I encourage you to carry the spirit of today's episode into your own life and workplace, foster those connections that feel like family, and never underestimate the power of a simple act of mentorship or kindness.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening to the Leadership Vision podcast, helping you build a positive team culture. If this episode touched you, inspired you or just resonated in any way, we'd love to hear from you. Follow us on all the social media channels or visit our website, leadershipvisionconsultingcom, to share your thoughts, stories and insights. Your voice is a valuable part of the ongoing conversation about leadership, vision and the human connections that drive us forward, so we invite you to join our online community. I'm Nathan Freeberg.
Speaker 2:I'm Linda Schubring.
Speaker 1:And I'm Carlos Frans.
Speaker 2:And on behalf of our whole team, thanks for listening.
Speaker 1:Thanks for listening.
Speaker 2:And then you say thanks for listening. We're going to start saying it with me One, two, three, thanks for listening. Thanks for listening.