Creating a Sense of Home at Work: Building Trust and Belonging in Teams

In this episode, we explore Chapter 5 (“Home”) from Unfolded: Lessons in Transformation from an Origami Crane. Brian and Linda discuss how leaders can create a sense of “home” in the workplace—a space of belonging, safety, and shared growth.

They unpack what happens when a transformed individual re-enters their team, why that can create tension, and how leaders can respond with empathy and openness. Topics include:

• Reclaiming the word home for organizational life
• Creating psychological safety and emotional trust
• Understanding when it’s time to “move neighborhoods”
• Inviting transformation through storytelling

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Chapters

• 1:46 Framing “Home” At Work
• 4:31 OC’s Return And Team Disruption
• 6:04 Leaders Go First: Modeling Growth
• 10:46 Redefining Home Without Saying Family
• 13:30 Safety, Belonging, And Purpose At Work
• 19:50 Emotions, Resistance, And Healthy Expression
• 25:13 Home As People, Place, And Movement
• 32:10 The Neighborhood Limits The Home

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:53

How do you create a sense of home in our second home, the place we spend the second most amount of time in our life?

SPEAKER_02: 1:01

When you look and are describing home, what kind of words do you use? And are there words that center around people and relationships? Are there words that center around place? Is it when something is really emotional or something is dramatic or there's a part where it can be cleaned up and put a process around it? So even looking at people's perspective at home might ground a team in understanding where the team feels most safe and where the team can be most pushed and how to press pause but then watch from that point. So oftentimes when we share our experiences and you really take the time to ask, they're not gonna just give you the and then everything was easy, and then we were fine.

SPEAKER_00: 1:49

Because we never know how others are gonna respond when someone shares their story of growth. And that's the invitation.

SPEAKER_01: 1:59

You are listening to the Leadership Vision Podcast, our show helping you build positive team culture. Our consulting firm has been doing this work for the past 25 years so that leaders are mentally engaged and emotionally healthy. To learn more about us, you can click the link in the show notes or visit us on the web at Leadership Vision Consulting.com. Hello everyone, my name is Nathan Freeberg. Welcome back to the podcast. Today we are continuing our conversation with Dr. Linda and Brian Schuberg as we unfold the next chapter of their book, Unfolded Lessons in Transformation from an Origami Crane. We are going to be talking about chapter five, the home chapter, where OC, the origami crane, returns to her community transformed, having experienced the freedom of flight. But her return, well, it stirs up some mixed reactions. There's admiration, there's doubt, there's even a little bit of resentment. And her transformation doesn't just change her, it changes the whole dynamic of the group, of her team, if you will. Now, this chapter is a powerful metaphor for what happens within teams and organizations when one member or one leader grows, when they evolve, when they rise to that next thing, when they take bold steps forward. It invites us to ask: how do we respond when change enters the proverbial room? Do we resist it? Do we allow it? Do we resist it? Or do we allow it to transform us too? This is a Leadership Vision Podcast. Enjoy. Dr. Linda and Brian. Welcome back.

SPEAKER_02: 3:36

Just call me Linda.

SPEAKER_01: 3:37

Just Linda. How about just Doctor? Uh Linda and Brian, welcome home. Welcome home to Minneapolis. Welcome home to the podcast studio. Uh welcome home to In your home and my home and every home. Like technically, I guess we're in other people's homes or on their commutes or their cars or whatever. Uh we just recorded part one of chapter five on Unfolded. And it's all about home, as I said in the introduction, coming back to it. How do we want to start this? The first one was really focused on the individual. This one's focused on team and organizational culture. Brian, can you sort of frame this up for us? Put it in a nice little box of some kind, uh, and then maybe we didn't do it last time, but maybe we'll follow this outline or just kind of see where the conversation goes.

SPEAKER_00: 4:31

This chapter is one of the more challenging chapters for me to interpret and to apply to the team context. Because unlike in your introduction, I I don't interpret this chapter as a chapter that that says, what does a team do when change enters? I think that for me the conversation is further upstream than that. Okay. Because I read this chapter, and when I think about applying the themes of this chapter to a team, I think of two groups. One, the leader, and two, the team members. Because for me, the greatest challenge could be in this question. How do we create a home in the workforce's second home?

SPEAKER_01: 5:19

Ooh. How do we create a home in the workforce's second home?

SPEAKER_00: 5:23

Because when you think about and you know, you hear these statistics that say we spend X amount of time at home and a certain fraction of that is sleeping, and you spend this overwhelming time at work if you have a full-time job. And you know, the the numbers are embarrassingly, you know, skewed. Skewed to one and that. So my challenge is this how do you create a sense of home in our second home, the place where we spend the second most amount of time in our life if we're working full-time. Um that's my challenge. And when I think about the like leaders who struggle um to create this, I'm not I'm not saying we create a home where there's like needlepoint on the wall, you know, or anyone that's like we're bringing home cooked meals.

SPEAKER_02: 6:11

We don't have needlepoint on our walls.

SPEAKER_00: 6:13

I know, but there's just a sense of cozy, they're really cozy.

SPEAKER_01: 6:17

No shame here.

SPEAKER_00: 6:19

The creation of home is can we can can leaders and can teams create a place where we feel a sense of safety and security, a sense of belonging and meaning, and a place where our life's purpose can be fulfilled. Can we create that type of home environment where we welcome people into that setting just as they are, and we learn to work with one another as we do with our biological families? That's where my mind is at with this chapter, which I think is a real heavy lift because I feel that we have opportunities to create this sense of safety and security to an odd degree with the teams that we work on, with all the players that show up.

SPEAKER_02: 7:17

What I would add to Okay, when you're working with teams and leaders, there's always language that can be misinterpreted, or we just have a different connotation. So I think about words like home or words like family, and one of the things that I learned from working with millennials back in the day is like, don't use the word family at all because we don't want to be a family, and most families we know are dysfunctional. And and so I understand like the team, the team aspect, and it's the healthy patterns of relating with each other, and so you know, a team often a family can be a team, but a team doesn't necessarily have to be a family. Yeah. Okay. In this chapter, yes, we see we see a leader. I think the leader is OC. Uh, this chapter of home. This leader has, in all intents and purposes, gone first. It's a it's an adage that we use at Leadership Vision. Leaders go first, not by way of being out in front and being the show-off, but the one that is willing to go first being vulnerable, going first, living the dream, going first, being willing to take the kind of risks that are necessary to get to the next place. So OC has been in flight, she has um, you know, learned all these different things, met some new friends, saw a different vision, and now comes back home. And I I think part of OC's challenge is to give language to what she saw and what the experience was, so that as a collective, the team can can understand and practice new ways of relating and working and uh pursuing the next dream together.

SPEAKER_00: 9:22

Because that example that Linda just gave it introduces a disruption into the team that then everybody has to respond to, or everybody will respond to whether they want to or not. And that level of response can be everything from you know somebody rising up in complete objection or refusal to believe what just happened to others having an emotional experience, um, whether that's demonstrated or not, but just having an emotional reaction to what happened. And sometimes what leaders do is they introduce the disruption to get a reaction, and that reaction we don't know. And so, this idea of how can we create a place, a home place where these types of expressions of emotion or frustration or disbelief can happen, and then learn to work with that as the team progresses forward.

SPEAKER_02: 10:10

Okay, as you're talking, I'm thinking, how do we reclaim the word home? How do we just say that in our prep? No. Yes, right, or team or growth. I mean, all the all the words, right? But especially with home. And so we don't want to go to work like, all right, everybody, we're gonna be a home. I mean, people will run for the hills.

SPEAKER_01: 10:35

Um thanks.

SPEAKER_02: 10:37

We actually work in our home, you know, you yeah, well and right, so it's a little bit loaded anyway.

SPEAKER_01: 10:44

Well, you were talking earlier about millennials or whatever, you know, don't say a family. Families are dysfunctional, blah, blah, blah. But I think there's something about that that about a family, maybe not the really dysfunctional ones, but there is a safety. Part of that dysfunction, I think, comes from the safety of knowing that well, not not everybody's. I'm wanting to be careful here, but it's like if if your kid comes home and just loses it, it means they're safe because they've been keeping it together all day at school, and they come home and they lose it, they feel safe around you. Could just be blood sugar, whatever. So family isn't the end-all, be-all, but there is a degree to which I think that metaphor, there is a lot of safety. There is a lot of this is my at least in a moderately not dysfunctional family, there is safety in my home. There is a place where I can go and I do feel loved and cared for and can be myself. And I wonder how leaders then work with a team that has an owl, that has a turtle, that has a rabbit, that has a fox, that has a YC. Each of those represent all these different team dynamics that have different, very different. I mean, in the earlier podcast, we we went through all the examples of negativity and crying and exuberance and wisdom and all of that stuff. How how would you, so maybe moving on from family, but how would you, I guess, advise leaders or what do you do when you work with teams who have all these characters? And you've got to make transformation and you've got to get them moving in the right direction.

SPEAKER_00: 12:22

Well, the idea of home, it's like overarching with the family. Um, and with home, you know who the people are, you know the the relationships that are held within the home. You you have a predictability on who's gonna act a certain way. Yep. At home, um, this is a place where our needs are met. And it in our homes, we are able to freely express our emotions, and in our homes, we're able to find refuge. I think all of those components can play on a team where we understand the relationships, we understand where our needs are met, we understand where there's resources and where we can ask for help and where we can leave. So I think that there's something unique about this chapter that invites us to understand who's around us, how they show up, how that impacts us, and yet still create an environment where we can experiment and try new things and we can play a little bit, we can help each other out. Like all those dynamics are are almost this expectation to be included within a healthy team dynamic.

SPEAKER_02: 13:29

Which in some ways is the reason why some of the Nathan, the in the previous podcast, we were talking about different resistance or the conflict that was happening as as OC was returning home. I think that's also true as well. I think sometimes the homes can be the most critical places, um, where then you have to find your your cozy nook in your house for where you where you do feel um safe or the most yourself. And I I think the workplace has this unique opportunity to invite people to bring their best selves to the table. Yes. Where where people uh with the right leadership are invited to step up, to to face change together, to push outside, push back some of the fear, not just you know, let down all your defenses. Yeah. Um, but push push things aside, you start to realize who you are, you realize that even your best self isn't that there's even more uh of you can be a better best self in there.

SPEAKER_00: 14:40

And because I think in a team there are there is a sense that individual team members can quote feel like they're at home, or it can or a team can feel like home. Meaning we there's a recognition, there's expectations, we know what needs are met and what needs are not met. Because of my travels and just how I'm wired, there, and Nathan, you know this, Linda, you know this, there are many places where there are many places in the world where I feel at home. And part of what I part of why that happens is because I can name the specific emotions or thoughts or what the place has to offer that brings me life and brings me freedom and helps me express who I am. And what I've also realized is that even though I feel at home in these several different places around the world, those places are still not my home. And that connection is maybe an illustration of what I'm talking about with a team feeling like there's a home aspect to it. It doesn't meet all of our needs, but there is a sense of knowing and comfortability and at ease and freedom to be ourselves. That's really what I'm reaching for here.

SPEAKER_02: 15:57

So I have a different perspective because I feel most at home with people. So even being over in Europe and being with friends that we have known and been in relationship with for 16, 17 years, to be with them and among them and in conversation where we in some ways pick up where we left off and then catch up with all everything that happened in between and get to know each other in a new way, it starts to help me feel more at home in the world. It helps me feel more connected to the world. And so for me, home isn't a place, it isn't a physical yes, it's an address, yes, it is uh it it can be a place where things happen, but for me, it's around people.

SPEAKER_01: 16:48

I I promise myself I wouldn't say this. But home is where the heart is, guys. Okay, that's that's what you're saying, Linda.

SPEAKER_02: 16:56

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00: 16:56

I don't think she was saying that.

SPEAKER_02: 16:58

Thank you. Well, kind of.

SPEAKER_01: 16:59

I mean, that I that's why I said I didn't want to say that because it's so cliche, but I think what I hear you saying it's kind of true, right? It's sort of like it's not a physical place, it's where these people are. And even as you were talking, I was just thinking about the different people in my life that are different degrees of work to hang out with. There's certain people you're like, oh, I can just show up, let my proverbial hair down, and just kind of not even think about it. There's other people I've really got to rev myself up for. We're having dinner with some people tonight that are somewhere in between that.

SPEAKER_03: 17:30

And do they listen to the podcast?

SPEAKER_01: 17:34

Well, this will come out after dinner, so they'll have no idea. Um but they're lovely. They're lovely. But uh this idea of like, you know, Brian, you're saying earlier, you know, you spend a third of your life, you know, kind of sleeping and eating and what, a third of your life at home and a third of your life at work, you know, whatever. And so, you know, if you're spending as much time at home as you are at work, you should probably like it. You should probably feel comfortable. You should probably if you're spending a third of your waking, or I guess a half of your waking life pretending to be something that you aren't, or having to kind of grip so tightly to this perspective of what or or this pers this thing that you feel like other people expect you to be, this perception, that's just gotta be exhausting, right? I mean, how do you being a human being?

SPEAKER_02: 18:26

I don't even know.

SPEAKER_01: 18:27

Well, that's that's true too. I could go take a nap right now, but how how do you coach people that way? How do you you know you work with a lot of executives, a lot of people that are their job is to create a quote unquote home at work. How do you help them do that? Like what is the magic formula to let people be who they are while also being a little bit better than who they are, you know?

SPEAKER_03: 18:51

We can't tell you the magic.

SPEAKER_01: 18:52

What's all the magic? Don't show me behind the curtain, just like peel it back a little bit and then close it.

SPEAKER_00: 18:57

When we're helping others understand this metaphor of home and how a team can have that feeling, even when leaders are challenged with how to create a more unique environment that reflects this idea of trust and safety. One of the things that we want to remind people of is that homes are located in neighborhoods. And that idea that a home is a subset, a smaller piece of a much larger neighborhood may help someone understand that some of the expectations we have of our homes may not ever be met because of the neighborhood within which it's located. And sometimes we we we oversell or overreach, like my home can be because of whatever this dream that that we have, but the neighborhood can't sustain that. There's this reality of these vast food deserts in in Minneapolis where the neighborhoods do not provide an opportunity for fresh food to be resourced, especially if you have mobility issues or you can't just get around easily. So the expectation, unfortunately, can't be met by the neighborhood. That's a symbolic representation of what happens with someone in their career. They may have these home type expectations of the team that they're on, but the neighborhood, the company, or even the industry doesn't have the resources available to actually meet those needs. And oftentimes, no matter how hard someone tries, no matter how hard someone practices and plays and dreams and flies, they just they may be in a place where the neighborhood doesn't support, and then it's time to leave. Now, this is that place, Nathan, that you got that you were like hooked into earlier on in the book where the gate.

SPEAKER_01: 20:52

Ah, yes, the proverbial gate between playgrounds, neighborhoods, wherever it connects.

SPEAKER_00: 20:59

And so we s I, you know, invited you to skip over that. Um, yeah. But that that gate is there, and that gate is a representation of this moment where, and I'm sure we've all faced this in in one way or another, that we may have outgrown our home. And I just wanted to give people permission that that there is a way out. Um, we can fly our way out, we can walk our way out, but there is that out. Imagine you know, those moments where you've returned to one of those places in your life that was one of these homes, and what your feeling um was like when you got there. When Linda and I were talking earlier today about this podcast, I said to Linda, if I were to go to my childhood home, I think I would be overwhelmed with how small not only the home was, but how small the neighborhood was, and wonder like, how did I get here? And even, you know, returning to my my grade school, like everything just seemed to be on this micro small level than what my mind had imagined. And yet there wasn't a lot of resources there, but it still was the place and the home where I went to school. And when we think about moments like that of returning to places and reminding ourselves of what our journey was like, there my point is we often outgrow these homes, which is perfectly okay and part of our journey in life to bring us to the next home that's going to support the dream and the practice and the trying and the flying.

SPEAKER_02: 22:41

Because here's some things with me. I I've never really appreciated the, and maybe it's how I'm wired, but it's the my forever home, my forever car, my forever job. Nothing's forever. Unless right. And and I think if you really look at the stories of home, it's maybe the place where you were birthed, or the place that you then moved, and then the next place, and then the next place um when people downsize, and then they they decide they have so many grandkids they upsize again, or then they retire, then they have to move into a home. Like there's so many. Yeah, exactly. So there are so many opportunities, I think, to look at homes as as a as a landing pad and a launching pad.

SPEAKER_01: 23:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 23:26

Homes as a a place you come to, you refuel, or um you it helps you demark time on everything that has happened. That's why sometimes it's good to pause in those places where you can feel safety and security.

SPEAKER_00: 23:44

And one of the things I also want to introduce is that when we think about leaders and and teams, is you know, sometimes people believe that that home is a place where we're still, and home is is a place where we aren't quote unquote moving. And I think of myself, and I'm sure there are many others like this as as well. I also feel at home in various types of movement. I feel at home on the water. I feel at home when I'm biking. I feel at home on a marathon course. You just know what to do when you're in these places, and each of those three homes is movement. I'm swimming, I'm paddleboarding, I'm biking, I'm running. And that motion feels like home because in those moments of motion, I'm the most tapped into my internal map of just how I'm wired and what I'm what I do to be free and to live is involve movement as much as home and being still and quiet.

SPEAKER_03: 24:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 24:46

That's good.

SPEAKER_02: 24:47

That is good. And it's so so the question I think that I would want to ask people to consider is when you look and are describing home, what kind of words do you use? And are they there words that center around people and relationships? Are there words that center around center around place or as Brian was mentioning, water or in the air? Is it when something is really emotional or something is dramatic, or there's a there's a part where it can be cleaned up and put a process around it? So even looking at people's perspective at home might ground a team and understanding w where the team feels most safe and where the team can be most pushed, and how to press pause, but then launch from that point.

SPEAKER_00: 25:39

Home smells like a fire in the fireplace, chocolate chip cookies and sourdough bread.

SPEAKER_02: 25:46

I mean, sourdough this morning is really good.

SPEAKER_01: 25:48

Ooh, delicious. You know, it's funny we're talking about you start talking about home and childhood homes and all this stuff. My uh the my home, my childhood home, uh was recently sold, and my brothers were sharing the real estate listing. And we my family hasn't lived there, it's been 15 years, but uh, the last people who they it it looks totally different, but also like if you click through all the real estate photos, it's like, oh yeah, that's we built that deck. Like I totally remember this part and this part, and so there's a degree to which I think home is a place, but also none of the people I care about have anything to do with are even in this town anymore. So this home means this house means nothing to me. And as cliche, right? Like as cliche as that home is where the heart is statement is, it's like there's a lot of great memories, there's a lot of like I look at it like, oh, that would have been awesome if it the kitchen was configured that way when we were growing up. But also, I wouldn't go back and trade that. And so when we think about like a team, like you can always improve stuff, whatever that is. But how do you make it uh a place where you feel comfortable? Well, you where you feel at home in this house. I think I'm losing this metaphor here, and maybe you guys can help me with it.

SPEAKER_02: 27:09

But it's just not necessarily not necessarily because we work with yeah, yeah, because we work with a lot of leaders that are what I would call benevolent disruptors, and they're the people that go into a home uh organization and they start maybe literally tearing down walls, tearing down walls, putting in, yeah, um, putting in a new office here or there, makeshift this, do you know? And so I oh, so I I like what you were where you were going, Nathan, because yes, there is memories, and are those memories do do we assign positive or negative thoughts or feelings to them? So that could be interesting. And how do you how do we lean people into a home is a place of growth? Home is a place where you can experience growth. Um a place to grow nourish. Yep, yep. Yep, and so it's it's part of it, and yeah, and we're not yeah, maybe we're not designed to always be in those places, but to to are we moving?

SPEAKER_01: 28:11

And sometimes no, please don't move. And sometimes even like I I pull up the listing here, like, and this is clearly staged, but it just looks so sterile and so there's no pictures on the wall, there's nothing that says no needle point, there's nothing that says this is this is a home. And I I think we also have a tremendous response as individuals, we have a responsibility to go into the teams and make that a home, to to play ball, to you know, compromise when necessary, to be who you are, bring your full self there, but say how am how am I gonna contribute to this quote unquote work family in a way that values everyone and contributes and lifts people up and helps everyone else on their you know flight dream to bring it back to the book a little bit.

SPEAKER_02: 29:02

So home is a seasoned. Home is a seasoned. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 29:07

You guys remember when we first uh bought our house in Minneapolis? Yes, yes, and gutted it. Yep. I don't know how many times you got you guys were over when it was in the stadium. Yeah, totally. And when we moved, Brian, you don't believe what just happened. Oh I gotta see it. I'm coming over. We can we can have a whole it was wild. But I like I put so much into that that home, that house. Like that's where you know, we we Brian, that song you shared, the Phillip uh Phillips Home. Yep, uh, we played that when we brought our son home from the hospital. And it was like Yeah, like you know, I had my speakers rigged up and it was like you know, bawling. Every time I hear that song, I get a little choked up. You're welcome. But then when we moved and we have our new home, like I don't care about that place anymore. Like, that's like like as much as I loved it and everything else, it's like now this is the home. And as you know, every once in a while a uh house will pop up on the market, we're like, ooh, should we do ba-da-da-da-da? And it's like, meh. So I don't know where I was going with that.

SPEAKER_00: 30:11

Other than we still drive by our old house. Yeah, on Xerxes. Yeah. Gerx Gazirx.

SPEAKER_01: 30:19

I I have a final request. I have a request. I have a final reflection question. Reflection. Request. See, listeners, this is what it means to have a work family. You can duck boats trip over your words constantly. I'm not even gonna say anything. No one's gonna say anything or make you feel silly.

SPEAKER_00: 30:41

Or they will know that you will appreciate or how many times it takes you to introduce the podcast.

SPEAKER_01: 30:46

Sometimes I did it first shot today, Gab.

SPEAKER_02: 30:48

Or say your name. Okay, Deb.

SPEAKER_01: 30:50

My name is Mason Meeberg. Um Facebook. Our conversation has gone a little bit in a different direction. But if this reflection question is not applicable, I would ask you to add one. When someone on your team evolves, how can you create space for that growth to strengthen everyone?

SPEAKER_00: 31:12

Say this one more time.

SPEAKER_01: 31:14

Yeah. When someone on your team evolves, transforms, flies, whatever you want to put there, how can you create space for that growth to strengthen everyone?

SPEAKER_02: 31:26

Ask that person to recount the story.

SPEAKER_01: 31:29

Ooh.

SPEAKER_02: 31:31

Tell the narrative of the ups and downs.

SPEAKER_01: 31:36

I like that because then, like YC, someone else can be like, oh, I like that. I want to handle it, I want to do that too.

SPEAKER_02: 31:42

Or you will never do that.

SPEAKER_01: 31:44

Or I will never do that.

SPEAKER_02: 31:45

Or I could learn the lesson. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 31:47

Right?

SPEAKER_02: 31:47

Because so oftentimes when we share our experiences and you really take the time to ask, they're not gonna just give you the and then everything was easy, and then we were fine.

SPEAKER_00: 31:59

Because we never know how others are gonna respond when someone shares their story of growth. And that's the invitation. I love it.

SPEAKER_01: 32:11

Thank you for listening to the Leadership Vision Podcast, our show helping you build positive team family culture. To learn more about us, you can just team. Just team. To learn more about us, you can click the link in the show notes or visit us on the web at Leadership Vision Consulting.com. If you found value in this episode or any of our other resources, we would love it if you would follow us on the socials, subscribe wherever you listen to your podcast, and perhaps most importantly, share this with someone that you think could benefit from anything we've shared here or the messages in unfolded lessons and transformation from an origami crane currently on sale at Amazon for I think$12.99. But you can buy this pretty much wherever good books are sold, not the bad ones. Uh, we would appreciate it if you would sign up for our email newsletter, which you can find in a bunch of spots on the website. My name is Nathan Freeberg.

SPEAKER_02: 33:02

I'm Linda Schubring.

SPEAKER_01: 33:04

And I'm Brian Schubrig. And on behalf of our entire team, thanks for listening.